1. What outcomes had you envisioned for this course? Did you achieve those outcomes? Did the actual course outcomes align with those that you envisioned?
I really did not have a vision for the outcome of this course. I am not in the Technology Leadership Program, and I did not even know the name of the course until I enrolled. I took this course as a substitute for a course I failed in the Educational Leadership Program. Ironically, I failed the course because of problems with technology. I took the course when the Academic Partnership was new, and I do not believe the portal I downloaded to my computer was working correctly. Not only did my computer crash twice, but also my assignments would not submit correctly. I spent hours on the phone with Tech Support, and tit never seemed to help. I will admit that I am definitely a technology immigrant, but when no one could tell me what I was doing incorrectly, I had to wonder if it was I at all. Unfortunately, back then, our coaches would not (or could not) accept assignments by email; therefore, if I could not get them in through the portal, I received a zero. I actually quit the entire program for several months, and then, another teacher at my school told me I could access the online portal, and I actually got that one to work. The reason I am reflecting on this in response to the question is that I was so frustrated with technology I did not care to know anything about the course. Now, as I look back, I can really relate to some of the questions about my school’s technology that I answered on one of the surveys. It is so important to our students to have technology that works properly, and if there is a problem to have great technical support; otherwise, we will drain our student’s momentum and desire to learn. I know, for that is exactly what happened to me.
2. To the extent that you achieved the outcomes, are they still relevant to the work that you do in your school? Why or why not?
I suppose I would have liked to feel a bit more technologically perceptive after taking this course, but I do not feel like that at all. I learned about some great tools, which help students create, collaborate, and learn through and with others; however, I personally do not feel I know enough to use anything I learned in this class effectively. I found it extremely difficult to teach myself the necessary skills in the allotted time. I would have liked fewer assignments each week, so I had the time I needed to explore, practice, and learn the various applications. I feel I only received a brief overview of what is available on Web 2.0., instead of learning correct implementation of the tools I “experienced”. Since this was the first course in the program, I am confident the other students will become more efficient and knowledgeable with each course they take (actually, I am sure they were all more technically inclined than I was from the beginning). I suppose I understand why the course did not achieve the depth I wished it had, and I know with my unique situation, I am probably the only one who feels slighted.
3. What outcomes did you not achieve? What prevented you from achieving them?
I actually answered this question with the last one; however, to put it concisely, I am not proficient in anything I learned due to the time constraints I experienced throughout the course. For instance, I never did figure out how to do the web conferencing, and I even spent money on a nice web cam with a good speaker. I got into the room once, but I could not see anyone and no one could hear me. I did hear some interesting discussion, but I certainly did not feel a part of the group. It would have been nice to have someone walk me through the procedure, but as I said previously, there was not enough time for questions or instructions, by phone or by email. I understand one give’s up the luxury of face-to-face instruction in an online course, but I honestly prefer teaching myself anyway. Yet, the problem, once again, is that I did not have the time to explore and figure things out at my own pace.
4. Were you successful in carrying out the course assignments? If not, what prevented or discouraged you?
I was not successful in carrying out several of the course assignments, and not for a lack of trying. Once more, my nemesis was the lack of time. I work at a high achieving high school, and I have to put in many hours of my own time just to keep up with my classes. In addition, I am working another job at night to pay for my graduate courses. That only left me so many hours to do assignments, and I always ran out of time. I must admit that I typically spend longer on my assignments than many other students. I read a lot, look up things, and put quite a bit of effort into the assignments. I have always felt the need to do the best I can do; otherwise, I feel like I am just trying to get by, instead of gaining knowledge and improving myself. I especially missed the class discussions, because that is really the only thing that makes you feel like part of a class. I guess the other thing that discouraged me was the problems I had with technology. I worked on my wiki for hours one night and still could not get it to work correctly. I actually ended up crying because I was so frustrated and discouraged. I finally gave up trying…what else could I do? It was 5:00 A.M., and I had spent all night fighting with it.
5. What did you learn from this course…about yourself, your technology and leadership skills, and your attitudes?
I have always known that I am a perfectionist, and perhaps, I have too much pride in the things I do, but it is nearly impossible for me to do less than my best…even when I try. In addition, I probably pay a bit too much attention to detail as I strive for perfection. I also know there is a fine line between the positive side of perfectionism and the negative side of perfectionism. From this course, I learned that I have still not achieved balance between the two. I have always known that I am extremely tenacious and do not give up easily. Perhaps, I have too much pride in the things I do, but it is nearly impossible for me to do less than my best…even when I try. I also know I need to give myself permission to be less than perfect, and allow myself to let go a bit sooner. From this course, I learned I have not achieved that yet, even when it is detrimental to my mental and physical health. I have discussed my technology skills previously, and my leadership skills are really quite good, that is when my pride does not get in the way.
Perhaps, hubris will be my tragic downfall…
